Elective Alteration – Craniotomy

You’ve come in for a scheduled elective surgery, we’re going to attempt to correct some… Undesirable behavior. I meet you in pre-op where I review the procedure with you before I relax you. 

I wake you in the OR so that I can best monitor you while I navigate your limbic and frontal lobes. You watch as I stand behind you, poking around in your head. When I determine that your hypothalamus is intact I decide to focus on your frontal lobe. I use forceps and small scissors to remove small pieces of your brain. While I’m at it I take a little bit extra, don’t worry – it’s for the best. You’ll be better off than before. You’ll be a perfectly passive patient.