A Series Of Unfortunate Events

You were expecting a package and it accidentally came to my house. It’s so embarrassing because it’s an elastrator and now I know about your castration fetish. I let you know that in fact, I find the whole thing very hot and I would LOVE to help you play out your fantasy in a safe environment. I can always cut off the bands when it becomes too much. Little do you know I have something more nefarious in mind.